Ads with Attitude

Like these Ads with Attitude below?

You’ll have to admit they have a punch.

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At Writers Secrets you learn exactly what
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Dr._Lant's_BooksMaster the ins and outs of…

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scientific and technical
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Yes, master fiction and/or non-fiction.

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And how to write fund raising copy for
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Become a stand-out writer of children’s books…
create beloved animal characters. Think of the

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Hamlet_and_skull“To be or not to be…”


The question is whether you’re ever going to stop
talking about writing… and actually get started
learning how to write better than your friend
Will Shakespeare.

You know, he learned the ins and outs of
the writing trade at and has
never looked back, whilst you were wasting time
talking to a skull. There’s no money in that… and
it’s creepy, too.

Listen, Ham, there’s a free info kit available for
you now that’ll gets you started. No obligation ‘Tis no madness in
this method!

George Quacker promotions
Jeffrey Lant Assoc., Inc.

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Scarlet_O'Hara“After all, tomorrow is another day.”

A bluntly, totally honest message to Scarlet
O’Hara from a long-suffering Rhett Butler.

For as long as I’ve known Scarlet (and pretty well all of
you know when that was) she’s been postponing what she
keeps saying she wants to do, write. She tells me she’s
got plenty material, but she cannot get off her curvaceous
backside to get started.

So I went ahead and went to
 to get her a detailed information package. Scarlet’s
upstairs actually reading the directions and what Writers
Secrets can do for her. She told me she intends to write
about her parents (paraticularly Miss Ellen and friends, everyone
except SueEllen.

And she actually squeezed my hand. She always could make
me tremble. And, yes, we’re together again. And I’m thinking
of writing my memoirs. Only I won’t postpone…

A George Quacker Production
Jeffrey Lant Associates, Inc.

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Edgar_Poe_with_raven“Quoth the Raven ‘NEVERMORE'”

Our good friend Edgar Allen Poe dropped by today… He was
in the gloomiest mood yet, and he’s famous for his gloomies.
They are dark and impenetrable… no fun at all.

The reason he’s depressed today is because he wants to invite
for dinner and study a Raven who lives in the neighborhood. His
objective is to characterize him absolutely right in his next Really Big
Poem; the kind it takes a lifetime to write… and lives forever.

Unfortunately this Raven, obnoxious smart like all Ravens, is just not
cooperating. Instead he keeps taunting Poe, laughing raucous;
obnoxious and infuriating. Now what? is

Edgar signed up at and in no time learned
how to work with Ravens, even on midnights dreary, while he ponders weak
and weary.

Then one pitch-black night, he was ready when the Raven came cawing, cawing,
tapping, rapping on Poe’s chamber door. Here how it went… The  deep sable Raven
make his presence known and at that moment Poe, well advised, well practised
dropped his pants and showed the Raven The Moon. This arresting scene caused
the Raven to wince and shriek “Nevermore!” Then “Nevermore” again… and again.
Forever after Edgar kept everything needed to perpetrate the splendid Moon readily
at hand! And the Raven found he could mind his manners after all.

Just think, old Poe learned it all at Oh, My!

A George Quacker Production
Jeffrey Lant Associates, Inc.

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Auntie_Mame“I’m Your Auntie Mame.”

I have just received a post card from Mame Dennis Burnside. The card is
illegible and if my life depended upon it I doubt I could decipher more than six
words, maybe not even that.

But one word stands out — LOVE — written in capital letters and lipstick, that
flagrant red was made for her by Chanel. It cost her a fortune. Money never
meant anything to her — she was, after all, the Eighth Richest Widow in
New York and she lived exuberantly, enthusiastically, accordingly. Love.

As she approached what French men say about French woman, namely
“a certain age”, she took to her memoirs with avidity and menace; for you
see Mame, dearest Mame, knew everything about people and life but
nothing about how to write books.

She failed working on her own; she failed “working” with Brian
O’Banyan, a plausible rogue if ever there was one. He lapped up her food, her
liquor, but worst mouched off her friends, who, one by certain one, were alienated.
Everyone saw what was happening, but Mame.

That’s when I came into the picture.

I recommended www.writerssecrets. Thank goodness she listened… she always
was far smarter than some of her hare-brain schemes suggested. As a result of
joining, memoirs a particular specialty, she’s autographing
her red-hot autobiography right now. The crowd, and there must be 500 people
milling about, love her and her universally known saying, “Life is a banquet, and
most poor suckers are starving to death.” We’re waiting for you now…

A George Quacker Production
Jeffrey Lant Associates, Inc.

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Listen in to Ads with Attitude “I’m Your Auntie Mame”





Yo, Shakespeare, this is what people are saying
about your “writing”.

“Debris, waste, refuge, rubbish, more refuge, litter, scrap
flotsam and jetsam, rubble, remains, remnants fragments,
dregs, dreck, scum, dross, sweepings, leavngs…

and worse… your friends and family are laughing at you, “YOU? A writer?”
A joke!”

If you’re tired of them snickering at you, get the free, no-obligation
info  package from Writers Secrets at

Otherwise they will keep laughing at you, and you won’t like that at all…

A George Quacker Production
Jeffrey Lant Associates, Inc.

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Listen in to this Ad with Attitude –




Duke_and_Dutchess_of_Windsor“… without the help and support of the woman I love.”

In 1936 the man known to history and his vast array
of subjects as The Prince Edward of Wales; then Prince of
Wales; then Edward, by the Grace of God, King-Emperor of
India, had just been given his penultimate title.

Fittingly enough he was so dubbed by Lord Reith, chairman of
the BBC which could rightly claim to have made the Prince (first)
popular… and (then) execrated, The Prince Edward being the weakest
of reeds in Reith’s irresistible grasp.

And so the new Duke of Windsor, the gilding still wet on his
coronet, gave an address of quiet dignity, that put the best possible
face on the shocking matter of his extraordinary, unprecedented deed;
a deed that was only saved from complete ignominy by his friend
Winston Churchill, whose line about “help and support” gave the shabby
circumstances words of love and dignity.

Sadly Miss Warfield of Baltimore who had bravely faced the world with
almost as many names as her Prince  (the first being the bovine,
“Bessie” Wallace), then Mrs Spencer, then Mrs. Simpson, then Duchess of

She had a substantial skill with Chesapeake crabs and audacious American
food, and brass that exceeded any general any time. Unlikely it may have
been, but when Royal jewels began to grace her throat, the world had
irrefutable evidence she was A Force.

Too bad loving hapless Windsor wasn’t part of her kit. Windsor’s sad face looking
out on us for half a century made us glad, yes even the most practised trollop, glad she
hadn’t “Danced with the boy who danced with the girl who danced with the
prince of Wales.”

That face made everyone unhappy… all but Bessie Wallace. She was a realist. Love
was for chumps, especially for her boyish lord. She couldn’t admire a man
who gave up thrones so easily. She was a cad. He pretended not to know…
He knitted. She philandered. It figured.

Of course such a woman would write her memoirs. They was a pile of
gold in them. (She made HRH write his, too.) More gold. Telling the truth wasn’t
necessary; getting a sizable advance was.

You of course want to do better, crafting (with help) words of truth, interest, and
integrity with the writing you intend to do about father, mother, friends and spouses
et al; “kiss and tell” is, after all the heart of the genre.

That’s why you need to go to There you’ll get the
“help and support” not just of a single person… but a complete team, all devoted to
sharing your story with a world waiting to hear it. And, after all, isn’t that just what
you have in mind?

A George Quacker Production
Jeffrey Lant Associates, Inc.

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Honey Pumpkin, does this description smell like you?

I’s a rainy night in Sheboygan. You’d like to go out and tie one on,
but you don’t have even two nickles to rub together, and you’ve already
sponged off every chump of your swindling acquaintance.

As for hot duds, the only way you’ll get something hot is to hold your
glad rags over the stove and hope you don’t burn down the grease pit you
call home, sweet, home.

Your mother is screaming at you again. Your father gave up on you long
time ago and “Get out, maggot!” is the mildest thing he offers on a presence
which long ago lost its allure. You’d love to punch his lights out, or worse, but
sleeping in the park isn’t your style.

Your dog, having concluded you are a waste of time,  is waiting to slip out,
because living with anyone is better than living with you..

All this is bad enough… but the worst thing of all is that you’re 42 years
old, without a pot to piss in, and absolutely nothing to show for yourself
Happy birthday, Dude, happy f-in’ birthday to you!

You are just a guy who can’t get beyond zero. That why we created We’ve posted a very thorough information
package for you.. No cost. No obligation but a few minutes of your time.

Of course knowing you, you’ll let this real deal chance to make money
get away. But maybe you’ll surprise me and take the chance, because you
see, bubba, you’re just getting older and nobody loves you when you’re
old, gray,and broke.

You are just one click away from that dismal, predictable end. Just one

A George Quacker Production
Jeffrey Lant Associates, Inc.
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MaxHi, I’m Maximiliano von Rabbit, known as Max to my friends.

I got my start as a Cover Rabbit for Dr. Jeffrey Lant at

He told me one day, “You oughta be in pictures!” And the rest is history. I’ve appeared
in print media, in video, in pictures worldwide, and made lots of personal appearances
with Dr. Lant. There’s even a lot about me in Dr. Lant’s biography, “A Connoisseur’s
Journey” at . And that is one important book!!!

Now I want to tell you how I’ve done it since you make A LOT of money… and
make new friends everywhere. I even met Baroness Margaret Thatcher in
London. And as all the world knows she kissed me. Yes, the Iron Lady. And I’m not
making  this up.

Contact me at

Dr. Jeffrey Lant

See my latest articles at:

Like these ads? You’ve got to admit they have punch. We’ll show  you how to write

ads like this, break out of the pack and MAKE MONEY!

Go to:

Jeffrey Lant Associates, Inc.

All Rights Reserved

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